So can I eat them yet?! GYA HAA HAA!!

-Heidegger

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Due to unspecified freak occurences, one of the prisoners was knocked out by an angered Turk (myself), revived, and knocked out again by the rest of the Turks. Then revived again, and knocked out again by the rest of the prisoners. There are no witnesses. A pair of pompoms and a shoe were also confiscated from the scene. I have a dot on my head.

-Tseng, Turk Head

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Thank god.

-Tifa

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Hey! It's gross in here! There must be some Shinra in the atmosphere! I said hey! It's gross in here! There must be some Shira in the- Ow! *thunk*

-Aeris

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...?
...!

-Rude

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... Should we continue to let the Avalanche members post in our weblog like this?

-Rufus

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Barrete keps laughingat me and alling me namess....it's horible inhere. Cloud isin a dres again. Tping with paws is harrd, Ivenotice d.

-Red XIII

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M..m...Mommyyyyyyy. This place is scaaaaarryyyy. Waaaaaaaaah. A fat man called me a little girl and said he was gonna eaat meeee. This cage is dirty and it got my new dress all wet. *sniffsniffsniff* And I looked stunning in it, too...

-Cloud.

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Exactly, Rude! I think we need to give them some tranquilizers in their soup like we're going to do to Palme -- oops. Sorry, Mr. Tseng!! I need to go tape Palmer to the wall before he runs away, now.

-Elena

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...

-Rude

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Hmmmm. Is it hot in here or is that just you, Reno...? *hikes up her skirt*

-Scarlet

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Stage 2 of Operation completed. Ugly pansy Spikey-head-blonde-dude apprehended. He damaged one of my smokes. He must die.

-Reno(b), Turk Extraordinnaire.
P.S. Damn, I'm sexy.

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Uh-hehe. Uheheheh. My friend Tseng came to visit me today. (He has a dot on his head). Him and some nice men stuffed me into a pretty cage with some cute fungus moving on the floor. My roommate is the sweetest little rabid monkey- I know we will be best friends right away! Then a nice fat man said he wanted to fatten me up and eat me. He is so funny! I am glad I am making all these new friends. But where is Cloud?

-Aeris
P.S. I am a flower girl from the slums. Teehee!

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Mr. Tseng, sir? The members of Avalanche seem restless...

-Elena

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So like, we're in these cages, and it stinks, and like, come on, I'm practically not even in Avalanche! Geez, I want some materia so I follow this idiot dude, and I get caught by Shinra people! One of them keeps saying he wants to eat me because I'm petite and tasty-looking! TOTALLY GROSS! Gawd, please, get me out of here... or at least give me some materia... gawd, man... just... gawd...

-Yuffie

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Plisswhoeveris reading this help me I have been captured by evil Shinra and they laugh funny and they're mean tome andI am veryscared who will come savemeoh please helpmy boobs are to big forthis cage and it huuuurts.

-Tifa.

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Gya haa haa! Avalanche members! Tasty! Gyaaa!

-Heidegger

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Stage 1 of Operation Asslance completed. Several members of Avalanche captured and held under Shinra custody. They are exceptionally whiny. I have a dot on my head.

-Tseng, Head of Turks.

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I wish Rufus would stop fiddling with this thing so he could fawn over me. Really...

-Scarlett

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I wish Scarlet would stop fawning over me so I could set this up. Really...

-Rufus

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